Dead-zone resident feels jilted by Wi-Fi

BY SHARI ALBERS

Like a rejected lover, I lay disoriented and crumpled. I had really wanted this relationship to work. Wooed by the sweet talk in newspapers and on the glossy postcard, I desired the new affordable Wi-Fi service that is making its way across Minneapolis.

I signed up for the service months ago and longingly followed its progress (originally it was slated for our area June 25). Upon receiving postcard notification that Wi-Fi had finally arrived in our area, I immediately called to get things rolling, but there was another wrinkle. That mailing was in error. The service had reached the next block over—not ours. I would have to wait another three weeks.

A new postcard arrived in my eager hands November 19. “Finally, Internet Access the way it should be…Secure, Fast and Inexpensive” it cooed. I signed up for the two-years-for-the-price-of-one-special ($239.40), ordered the required modem ($79.95 + $4.95 shipping), shopped a computer store for a router ($50-$200) to allow more than one computer within our house to get the signal, and looked forward to canceling our reliable but slow dial-up service.

The modem arrived a few days later. I followed the easy directions, but could not find a strong or steady signal anywhere within the house. Anxious for a signal, ANY signal, I plugged the modem into a 50-foot extension cord. I pulled the modem outside, and pointed it in the direction of one access point less than 50 yards away. A four-unit stucco building stands between it and me. The signal was too weak to register even one bar on my laptop. I pointed the modem toward the other two near-by access points. Nothing. I seemed to be in a “dead zone.”
Ignoring defeat, I tried again the next day. Same results. I called the 24-7 tech support. During the second call, I was once again plugging the modem in various outlets and aiming it in every direction on both floors of the house. The tech guy could see the same limp blink on his computer screen. No go. “Oh, you live on an open space, don’t you?” he asked. Apparently, if you live on an open space, like a park or the river, there may not be enough access nodes available to get a signal. Now, having Powderhorn Park as my front yard made that two strikes against me.

I pleaded with him, “What is USI Wireless going to do about this?” The whole city will be outfitted with access nodes first, he said, then they will come back to problem areas like mine. “How long will that take?” I whined. Probably about three months—maybe more.

On Monday morning, I called a salesperson to cancel my contract. Easy enough, but then he asked, “Do you want to keep the modem?” “What am I supposed to do with that?” I snapped back. “I want my $79.95 plus shipping plus taxes refunded.” “We don’t refund the shipping charges,” he said. Then I found out that I must pay $4.95 for postage again or drive to Minnetonka (a 24-mile round trip). Scream! My love affair with Wi-Fi was ending badly.

I guess it’s time to face the facts and reclaim my dignity. The “secure, fast, and inexpensive” Wi-Fi is not to be mine. Jilted and disgruntled, I must once again sort out the convoluted terms of other speedy internet service providers and commit to some required contract. Sigh.

If only this relationship could have worked … the promises sounded so good … In the meantime, I’ll cuddle up to my old reliable dial-up and mope.